I’ve been all over the place lately. Emotional, and up and down. It takes me awhile to catch up. Like some days, Wade comes home and asks me how I am and I start talking about how I feel and burst into tears, when I hadn’t even realized it throughout the day.
We are in major limbo over here, contemplating a big move away from where we live now, and not understanding or quite sure where we will end up, and when that will happen. Being pregnant makes me so restless to be settled. I want to know my home, and prepare for this baby, and as of right now, I have no idea where we will be living when Jaxon comes. I hate it. I wish I could say that I’ve been excited about new opportunities but I haven’t. I’ve been impatient…I just want it to happen now. I’ve been so anxious.
Today I just surrendered and took a breath. I had a great day with Wade and Capri, we just spent quality time at the park, eating food and just cuddling together. Today (during the cuddling with hubby) he was able to feel Jaxon’s flips and kicks for a whole 20 minutes! It was amazing, and I can see Wade starting to connect to this little baby as much as I am.
With all that going on around me, I just realized that I need to stop and breathe and be thankful for where I am at right now. To truly want what I already have. This last year we have come through a lot of financial hardship, and with the economy the way it is, I know that we could be way worse off, and others are way worse off then us. We truly know what it feels like to be living in that survival mode, and I am thankful that we aren’t there anymore.
It was such a break of burden today, just surrendering, and I’m going to get in the practice of breathing more.
September 27, 2009 at 8:41 pm
There is a verse in Philippians that says, “for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.”- Phil 4:11
That verse has helped me through some of the most anxious times in life. Of course, also remembering that anxiety is not of God helps, too.
I am praying for you as you and Wade go through this time of uncertainty. God provides, as you know, and although you may feel uncertain, you can place your trust in Him that He is in control!
Hugs to you, babe.
October 1, 2009 at 2:00 pm
I so feel you. I think pregnancy makes changes in life so much worse. We, as women, FEEL so much and the constant change of life is taxing. We had quite a few major changes during my pregnancy with Baby Bean, so I am empathize with you… although, a move was never in the cards. Will be praying for peace for you and the family. You are an awesome woman and mother. God will carry you through, chick!